“Family is not defined by our genes, it is built and maintained through love.” ...Amalia G., Independent Adoption Center
The recent argument this generation is having with their parents is majorly that the kids are not obliged to take of their parents just because they gave their children food, clothing and shelter. This kind of obligation comes when parents demand from their children in their old-age a bit of their time, sometimes space in their house, most of the times their medical expenses and care.
This is going around a lot in India specifically because Indian culture has been of this kind where the parents old-age is child’s responsibility. Majority of Indian parents raise their kids with a hope that their children will be their support in their old-age. Yet India is filled with old-age homes and all the old-age homes are filled to their capacity where children leave their parents and go. The kind of thoughts are aching on both sides where child feels that they were nurtured by their parents only for their old-age and parents feel that they must not have had kids. The fights for properties and money is totally a different kind of story.
Well both parties are on the right front and the solution to this problem is Adoption. Adoption will put a full stop to quite a few question on both the parties.
- The Adopted child cannot say that his/her birth was a act of sex and enjoyment of their adopted parents. As adoption was a choice both parents made it with a thoughtful mind.
- As parents of an adopted child, the parents might have less expectation from the child that he/she would be their companion in old-age. But chances are child in most cases feels obliged to take care of their adopted parents.
- As the adopted child knows the life without parents and life at adopted centre thus most likely the parents won’t end up in an old-age centre. Adopted child will not make that as a choice.
- Adopted child knows that the adoption centre would have never allowed to make him choice of school, colleges, clothes, toys, food. So the child will always be grateful to the opportunities the adopted parent can provide the child within their capabilities. Sense of gratitude will always be their for the adopted parents.
- Adopted children will always have an inert need to make their adopted parents proud and happy by their deeds and action.
- Adopted children might pay less importance to money and properties instead they need their parents time and attention.
The world is always changing, the environment we grew up is quite a lot different then the India in which our parents grew. At those times things had value but now one thing is broken, Amazon will show you a hundred replacement of those items. Not all of our kids might turn their back on us but if they do, then they are right to think of their own life in a different direction. And in their life their parents might not have a chance to stay with them and watch them grow old. Thus as parents we must not put an obligation to take care of our old-age. We must prepare for our old-age and we must not entertain our child’s each and every unnecessary demand.
Gratitude and Attitude are not challenges; They are choicesRobert Braathe
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