The Buzz and Fuzz about Turmeric Milk, True or Untrue?

Take the health drink you use for your child or for yourself, just check the amount of sugars added in it. And now think about the number of scoops you add to your milk. I bet it will be more than one spoon of sugar. Its impossible to create any health drink taste so good without adding sugars to it, plus the amount of gluten in it is an another story to tell.

So if your child can consume the artificial flavours from that health drink created in some place where you have never been to check the hygiene. Plus the amount of snacks we give our kids, do you find it difficult to create a habit of drinking turmeric milk so difficult.

In 2017 mid February, my 3.3 year old son started having mild symptoms of cough and high fever for 5 days, after a round anti-biotics, he was fine for 20 days, but then again fever and coughing was intense, where we could hear the sound of mucus trapped in his lungs. There was a X ray needed to be done and we were told our son had pneumonia, despite finishing a course of antibiotics just 20 days back, he was now on a different brand of antibiotics. As a mother it was hurting me to see my child so sick, puking and unable to swallow solid food. His recovery was not an easy thing but I decided that and then, I am going to work on building the immunity for my children and I think that is the best thing we can gift our children.

As soon as my son turned One just like all the mothers plus the Ad of pediasure pleased me so much with building immunity thing and all, I started giving my son pediasure when he was around 15 months old. He didn’t like the taste but I kept pushing it to give him and make him healthy, as at that time I believed health comes out of a box. But he was falling sick during that time period but everyone told me its common, kids to fall sick every now and then, that’s how they build immunity, (what the experienced mothers in my family kept saying me). The problem I faced with my son was he would constantly get congested cough in his lungs. He was allergic to dust and he would be sneezing every now and then.

But in 2017 when he had pneumonia, It was an alarm ringing in my head and heart that there has to something I must to long term to prevent this. I cannot let my son to grow like this or being sick every time with the cough.

That’s when I started making small changes in his daily life. After finishing the second round of antibiotics, the mucus was not cleared, I made him vomit the mucus every morning till 3 or 4 days, till he coughed clear without a sound of mucus. Plus the steam inhalation, worked wonders together.

After everything was cleared, I started giving him turmeric milk with half spoon of sugar in it and he drank it, he still drinks it every day and with him my younger son 2.5 years old also drinks it.

We never give a thought about adding the number of scoops of health drinks Brought from store but adding a spoon of sugar to turmeric milk is made a fuzz about. Some claim that adding sugar to turmeric milk won’t work, but I say it does. After 2017, my son never got cough with mucus congested in his lungs. He does get cold and sneezing but never cough or congestion. A simple habit but a boon from past 3 years and counting.

The thing with turmeric or any Ayurvedic product is you have to be consistent, follow it religiously and it works wonders. I know turmeric has many other benefits and as Indians we consume it through varied dishes, but this is the best form where there is no oil added. I might unlock many other benefits later with my kids but this one I must share.

Health benefits of turmeric milk you must know

  • Boost immunity. … 
  • Reduces inflammation and joint pain. … 
  • Prevents cell damage. … 
  • Promotes digestion. … 
  • Help improve memory and promote brain function. … 
  • Helps in elevating mood. … 
  • Fights respiratory issues. … 
  • Provides glow to the skin.

Its is very safe to drink turmeric milk on daily basis and don’t be hesitant to add sugar to your kids turmeric milk just for them to get used to it.

Another important benefit of turmeric milk is you will save a good amount of money not buying the health drinks.

You can always buy turmeric from store but you can be make it yourself at home if you have time.

How to Prepare turmeric Powder:

  • Take the turmeric roots from the vegetable section.
  • Wash them thoroughly clean to remove all the mud over them.
  • If you wish for a very fine powder peel them.
  • Dry them under the sun for 7 days if its peak summer or it may take 10 days of sun.
  • Make fine powder and store it in your favourite container.

Making at home takes out the doubt of being adulterated food.

We really have to think about the simple changes we can bring in to our life to bring back our health. It’s important to read the ingredients before we buy anything from store. Its is much more important now in this pandemic situation where we lost so many innocent lives.

Thus the best thing we can give our children before they are grown into adults and thrown into a another pandemic is the good health and a stronger immunity, Which definitely does not come out of the box.

Stay healthy and safe!

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Continue reading “The Buzz and Fuzz about Turmeric Milk, True or Untrue?”

Pyschological Taboo: Crushing The Voice

In 2020 we have spoken about so many taboo’s that we have forgotten about the most important taboo that has been going on since many ages and its the number one still today.

It is ‘Crushing Your own voice’.

As children we wanted to ask so many thing to our parents but we were ignored and sometimes not allowed to ask the why and how and when. We carried this feature in our adulthood also to ignore some things and not talk about the injustice because as kids we were silenced and now as adults some of us chose to be mute.

I have been communicating with a mute person since few months and believe it or not, he speaks more than me. He alerts me with all the wrong happening around me, the point is he speaks more than me. But when I try to put my voice out about any unjust thing happening around, I lack courage and support.

I have so many worries about so many people who depend on me that my voice is crushed. But seeing the wrong also kills me from inside but speaking about the unjust might hurt my loved ones too.

The dilemma is real and like me many must facing this. Its hard to speak. But this is a taboo we have all been brought up with. Our generations and ancestors are psychologically trained to be scared of speaking up. There is no fear is speaking behind somebody’s back but speaking about the unjust is so scary.

Today the platform for speaking about the unfair are so many but proven facts are so less. Even if we speak about something or raise an issue then turning it to a lie is so easy. People will crush you and fabricate your truth to lie, within minutes.

It’s hard to stand up for something and it’s hard to survive in this unjust society, in a ethical way. I think the world is going to have a disastrous end, it would be unimaginably cruel.

Can we all survive ethical way? Is it so hard to earn bread and butter by not doing anything illegally or unethically?

I donot know, how people who do wrong things or who do business unethically, sleep peacefully but I cannot see the unjust things and sleep peacefully. It’s disturbing and hard to live and I cannot imagine that my kids will enter this wishfully wrong world.

Why is it some people want to procure Money in wrong way and it’s so much traumatising to see other people work so hard to achieve the Right way.

It is unjust, but our voices are crushed.

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One Simple Routine to Fix Your Child’s Emotional Health

Why everyone does not carry same emotions like you. Why everyone is not kind? Why some people take drastic decisions about their life? Why some smart kids don’t turn out to be a smart adult? Why we lack so many emotions and when we do learn to understand somebody’s emotion, by that time its too late? Why its so hard to understand the same species(human)? Why human to human connection is such a difficult?

For instance, some adult are not scared of injections but some dread with the sight of a syringe or even seeing someone else is being injected. Why so? Why don’t we all carry the same emotions towards injections? Why do some fear and others are calm towards the same object? Have you ever given a thought towards such a simple thing?

The things I found out about these above questions is related to so many different aspects of life. Imagine a child having a difficult childhood, while children with difficult childhood have successful career but there are examples of children with difficult childhood turning into abusers, murderers, gamblers, robbers.

In both the scenario what went wrong its hard to describe? Isn’t it?

Now think of a child with peaceful and normal environment. Even here we have examples of creation of genius adults, average adults but also depressed and disordered adults. Again we have a same question what went wrong, How a perfectly healthy childhood made a person depressed or ill with various disorders.

The things can go wrong without giving a slightest hint to the human themselves. Now imagine this situation your child is with you in a restaurant and the people sitting just across your table are talking disgracefully to the waiter and are nagging about the restaurant atmosphere. You and your child are mute spectators and you even discuss with your child about how cruel and wrongly their behaviour is. But this is a permanent memory in your child’s brain and it can cause him a lot of various emotions. Like even he might not stand up for the cruelest things happening around him or with him. He might feel its ok to people yell at him or others. He will become tolerant to the wrong. But as I said earlier, everything can turn out to be a positive adult also. YOU CANNOT PREDICT THESE THINGS.

So this blog is about how to make best efforts with our kids to carry the positive emotions in there subconscious mind. The lot of our daily activities are carried by the subconscious mind from brushing our teeth to sleeping patterns at night. Similarly lot of our emotions occur subconsciously.

Like owning up to a mistake, there is constant emotional ethical fight going on in our mind, as to what is the right thing to do. Now if you make it a subconscious habit of always owning up to your mistakes, then there is no ethical fight in our brain.

Now lets take the above situation in a restaurant, now what if you put a open discussion on the table about what the child feels about the situation surrounding them and then put up your view. May be the child feels like standing up and telling the people about their improper behaviour, or may be he just wants to tell the staff that not all the customers are like them and they are doing a fantastic job. There can be many view right which we don’t know and we ignore the lot many chances of enhancing the positive emotions.

You will see plenty of articles on this topic but they won’t make you as focused on the things I am going to share with you. The point is not on following the rules which have been created, the point is not to avoid the certain rules and face the certain circumstances.

Just like the restaurant incident there could be many incidents we don’t discuss and share our point of view. Many a times we just hear others opinion but we hardly keep our point of view right. And if someone has a strong point of view we sometimes adopt those opinions too. THATS WHAT HAPPENING IN THE CURRENT WORLD WITH MEDIA MAKING OPINIONS ABOUT A MURDER/SUICIDE OF SUSHANT SINGH RAJPUT.

For the many incidents occurring in world, as kids we were in very much vulnerable state and we have formed a desired set of emotions for the desired situations in our life but our kids are also being projected into some undesired state of situations and they might create a set of permanent emotions for those vulnerable situations and some of them cannot be reversed.

That is what called EMOTIONAL STRENGTHENING. We all carry set of emotions in our brain from birth some are influenced by our genetic formation. Like may be our father/mother had some fears and kids carry it, but its not compulsory to carry forward, emotions are not physical, so they change according to surrounding and the influence around us. If you have fear of water doesn’t necessarily mean you will allow your child to carry the fear of water Right.

Just like that we can emotionally prepare our kids or ourselves too, for the vulnerable situations that can occur to them. Our life can make us feel a vast amount of emotions but we can cover some basic emotions through this one routine I am going to share.

This one routine is called : ALWAYS ASK A QUESTION WHY AND FIND ANSWER TO THAT WHY THROUGH ATLEAST 3 PEOPLE YOU KNOW?

As psychology students, we have an exercise to get an answer to following questions from different age group and genders. And we were astonished by seeing the results are so varied, depending on gender and age group.

So the question is, Henry’s wife is sick with cancer and one of scientist has a medicine to cure that cancer. Henry is broke and he doesn’t have the money the scientist has quoted for the medicine.Henry tries to borrow from all the available contacts he has, but he still couldn’t gather the amount the scientist has demanded. He tries to convince the scientist but the scientist say he has put his 10 years of days and nights into finding this medicine and he has even sacrificed his family life for his work. SO he deserves the amount he has quoted for this medicine and he will not give the medicine for lesser price to anyone. Henry gets very angry with the scientists answer and he hits with a vase on scientist’s head and grabs the medicine and runs away.

Now we have to judge Is Henry’s Action’s justified?

I know there will be lot going on in your mind and each of you will have lot of queries as well as opinions about this situation.

The main point of this exercise is not to judge emotionally and Justification is not always the solution. But in this small situation also there is lot learn. The incident is so vulnerable in Henry’s life, he was not prepared to hear no, he didn’t have any choice to make, he was impulsive, tired and may be devastated with everything happening around him.

But you will not believe the children were the quickest to answer the question that Henry’s actions was not justified and even my seven year old son said that Henry did the bad thing.

Because like my son kids are raw to understand this emotions, they don’t know how to think about others point of view, like in the above scenario, why the question is not asked about Scientist’s actions are justified, why only Henry is being judged? Why Henry is not trying hard of other ways to convince the scientist?

Like I said there will be lot of WHY’s.

This is one routine you must follow with your kids, It takes a very less time and it can create a lot of introspection about you with your own kids. Kindly donot put your thoughts into your child’s mind instead ask the why’s? When my son said Henry was wrong in spilt seconds, I did counter him with the questions like but henry’s wife is very sick, what do you think he should have done? My son didn’t answer and even I didn’t try to force him to try to answer but I created a emotion of being empathetic towards sick and also by not answering that I made him think that not all people who hit are bad, henry’s wife is sick he is sad and that made him bad, but my son is still adamant that Henry did the wrong thing. Now I asked him about the Scientist, what about his actions , My son quickly responded that even scientist did a bad thing, he must share the medicine because sharing things is good. Now this sharing things is good is taught to him in his school curriculum, So he has a positive influence of that but we cannot completely predict that scientist is wrong or Right?

Like this you can just let emotions to be formed and strengthen them through a process, it takes time to find answers emotionally but if you don’t discuss about the vulnerable situation which kids will face in their life, they will have to take an impulsive decision like Henry. You don’t get answer for all the questions but for some unanswered questions, child will keep looking for the answers through out his life and through the emotional connection even the child will not judge himself in some unrealistic or vulnerable situations.

There is one more benefit of this routine is, may be when the child is stuck in a situation where the child might feel that he did a bad thing or he is just judging himself to be a worst person, the child might want to discuss with you or others about his actions, just get perspectives.

This routine will make the child empathetic and make you and your child respect the perspectives of each and every person in the situations you create and discuss.

The social media world is lacking the biggest emotion of being kind and empathetic, today’s generation is the most quickest generation to judge and spread it to others people mind too.

Majorly because only less people take into account of others emotions and perspective. They judge others with the creamy information spread by others but never think about it other way round.

The future generation has more toughest challenges as every thing like basic education is getting digitalised, the sense of touch and smell are also getting lost today…

Imagine what will happen to the emotions. It cannot be ignored. We can only help them to think and correct them where they go wrong but we cannot always be with our kids but this routine will help them to think twice and think about everyone in a situation.

Do give it a try and do let me know in the comments what do you feel about this article and information.

Have a great day! Stay positive! Always give yourself a second chance! Share it if you like it!

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Secrets of Better Teenage Years

when you are too young for the half of the things you want to do and too old for the other half is called teenage.

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Situation 1:

Pia is 17 year old. She is in high school and extremely brilliant in her academics. She has made few friends and they call themselves a Gang. They are 5 of them and they spend all their break time together. After a month from the beginning of high school Pia is finding it hard to fit in the group. The initial excitement is gone and now she hates the break time because it dreads her to sit with them. She doesn’t want to be part of anything they do. She wants to explore some new friends but she is scared that, the So called Gang will spill out her secrets she shared with them and may be humiliate her as she couldn’t do the cool things they try do to. This thought worries her even after going home and she is not like herself at home too. Her mother keeps annoying her with questions asking what is wrong with her. She thinks she has two options either to fake it in front of the group as a completely different personality from her real self or She has to dare to quit the group or school.

Situation 2:

Arjun is a 19 year old.He is in college and he has a motorbike, he smokes cigarettes, actually he is chain smoker and he goes crazy if he doesn’t smoke 2 packs of cigarettes per day. His father earns enough to make the ends meet and has a grocery store just at the end of the lane from their house. Its just been 15 days since his father gave him pocket money and its all over.Arjun is worried how to get through 15 days to get the pocket money. He is planning to steal money from his father’s wallet at night. His self conscious is killing him and he keeps thinking about how to quit smoking or at least restrict himself to smoke one pack a day but he cannot do it. He has created a image of himself in front of his friends that he doesn’t care about money and he can spend as much he wants, that is the reason he needs more money as everyone has planned to try this new PUB on the weekend and its entry fee is exorbitant. He hates himself for being in this situation.

Situation 3:

Karthik is a 16 year old. He has just completed his school and his results are out. He didn’t live up to his parents expectation and they are disappointed with his results. His father is still suggesting the same course which he had planned earlier. Karthik doesn’t want to do that. Karthik’s girlfriend Ria has done exponentially good in exams and her parents are proud of her. Karthik is feeling very disappointed and despite Ria’s encouraging words he is feeling heartbroken.He wants to break up with Ria but he cannot find an appropriate reason and he doesn’t wants to spoil her happy moment. He is playing video games till late night so that he can avoid breakfast with his father. His mother keeps telling him to study harder in high school. He wants to become a music teacher but he has no idea how and what to do. And with his terrible grades he cannot dare to keep his opinions in front of his father, as his father thinks Arts and Music doesn’t bring status and income into the family.

If you see the above situations, they think their problems are deep and from my psychological point of view I can see so many emotions going inside their brains and I can assure you each emotion is just telling them that they just want to grow up as soon as possible because they think when you become an independent adult these problems won’t arise.

There are many things as a teen they should know, because the biggest boon for our generation is the biggest threat INTERNET.

As soon as the teens have a Device in their hands which as parents we think is a necessity actually which is, but as parent we start loosing control on our kids, as kids don’t rely on us for information, so they have a a device and that gives them a solution to their questions but not one solution but hundreds of solution and sometimes the child has the maturity to create a block for himself to which one he should try and sometimes the child does get confused.

But as parents we should not spy on kids phone through software but we must start the exercising of making choices. Thats what my previous article was about How pre teens are important and what should we build in pre teens.

When your kids are in their teens sometimes talking to them is really difficult. Many a times they avoid facing their parents as they just want to hide their emotions.

According to teens their problems are scary and they dread to face it. Teenage is that phase where they think they are expected not to create problems for their parents or if they are in a mess, then at least that problems must not reach their parents ears.

They put a mental pressure on themselves that come what may I am going to deal with my problem without discussing with anyone, which in on way is good way of depicting them as adults but the real problem is, are they doing it responsibly.

Do these teens know, that some consequences might hurt other or some problems might need adult interventions?

Do these teens know that its ok ask help?

Do these teens know When and For what to say No?

Do these teens know How to protect themselves?

Do these teens know how to not get abused and not to abuse others?

There are many things we protect out kids from, and in one blink they are teenagers. There is never a right time to teach things. They must learn every day and all their answers must be answered according to their age.

That’s the reason I mentioned in my earlier blog, reduce saying No in pre teenage and if you have to say no then do justify your No.If you haven’t read my previous blog here’s the link https://therealinfluencer.in/2020/09/11/how-pre-teenage-years-of-your-child-could-make-anyone-a-better-parent/

Its important that we make our children responsible for their actions at their childhood so that when they reach teenage they will carry that responsibility that their actions are important.

Its important for child to know that their actions will cause the consequences and they must know that they should be ok with that, How they have to carry the consequences they have caused.

For instance, Anna yelled at her 7 year old child for some mischief he did, but she realised that she did-not make him realise his mistake, because other day his son was yelling at his sister same way she was yelling at him. The next time Anna made sure to tell his son sorry for yelling at him and told him that she was too tired from all the work, that’s the reason mother got angry on him. Her son understood that fact and told her that he is ready to help her with any work she need to do.

When you acknowledge your mistakes and say sorry to your kids then they no need to hide or lie to you. They don’t need to find courage to speak up or own their mistakes. But as they age some mistakes do need punishments with acknowledgements that their actions have hurt someone.

Teenage never starts at one point or you can never say that my kid has to reach 13th birthday. Train them daily with smallest incidents they share with you because each incident matters and has definitely to learn something from that. Like spilling the hot milk on the table, tell your kids that it could have messed up everyone clothes or even they could have got hurt. These small things helps them to get less anxious when they do mistakes in front of their peers. For instance if as a parents if you spilled the hot coffee on the table, just say sorry to everyone and own your mistake.

Kids are observing day in and out, they make the rules according to how we care and behave in society, if you don’t pick up the dropped spoon in a restaurant, your child will never learn to pick up the dropped spoon, even when he drops it at home.

If you think you can teach all the behaviour when your kid is actually in teenage then you are wrong. Teenage brings a lot of physical, mental and hormonal changes and their brain and heart are expanding at a massive rate, its too much for them to understand your point of view, their friends point of view and the point of view of their idols.

They cannot learn to make choices in teenage, they directly make choices and then worry about the consequences. So its on parents to make them familiar with the consequences through various examples everyday before they reach teenage.

Don’t underestimate the things your child shares with you when they are young because there is definitely something to learn each day.

My next blog will be about emotional exercises you can do with your child when they are young. How make the young minds think about the vulnerable situations and how to divert you child’s mind to think about others perspective too?

Parenting is not hard if you do it everyday, just do not postpone the things you want to do with your kids when they are young because they are young for a very little time and that time is really important to fill in the important emotions which they will need it when they are adults.

Bringing up responsible adults is after all the ultimate goal of all the parents in the world.

Happy parenting! See you all in my next post!

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How Pre Teenage Years of your child Could Make You A Better Parent

The funny thing about kids is, they are the reason we loose it, and they are the reason we hold it all together.

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Once you have a child, as a parent you can never be relived, I don’t know till what age. But during these past decade there have been a lot of teenage problems highlighted in the social media.

Where were these teenage problems hidden 30 years back?

Why are parents more stressed now when their child steps into teenage years?

Why there is big distance on both sides, the child and the parent have the feeling that they don’t know each other?

Can we really control the situation getting out of our hand?

When and what should we do to make an emotionally strong and mentally healthy adult?

I am going to share all these answers based on the psychological factors done by various researchers and some of my own research on this subject.

As soon as your child starts loosing his/her milk teeth, it’s a sign that the child is making permanent memories, this means the child has some in depth memories which he won’t forget till his lifetime.

So imagine your child 7 or 8 year old asks your permission to do something and you deny it, thinking its risky for the child to try but think according to the child’s point of view, you didn’t make the child understand the risk but you denied it and child has made a mental imprint of trying that thing when he/she grows up and might not tell you.

This is the first step where we have to correct ourselves. If the child wants to try something then just simply saying a No and not telling the child why you said no, is where you are creating a separation of thought as an adult and then child wants to be an adult but instead when you explain the child why you said no, the child feels like you both are equal.

What does your child like when they are between 4 to 12 years old? Cartoons, video games and outdoor play. At this age they idolise cartoon characters. But idolising doesn’t stop even when they are on the pathway of becoming an adult.

But as they head towards the age of 13 or 14, the idolising increases and they start making a set of goals for themselves to become like the actors or characters they idolise or adopt their habits, like they wear clothes like those characters or may be they want that haircut like that character. They may demand to buy the products those characters endorse.

But they typically fail to understand that those actors were just playing that character and in the real life they may not be like that.

As nowadays the actors are available on social media, the teens may have a reality check and their idols may not be of the same character as they expected to be and then the rebellion behaviours comes into the the teenage life….

Today its very difficult to change the influence of their idols they idolise, as due to sudden surge of hormones kids become very stubborn and they don’t give up.

These teenage hormones gives them a strength and courage to try all the things they thought were difficult in their life. These hormone surge to a peak when they try something that they haven’t tried before, like hiking, they feel a sense of satisfaction(adrenaline effect).

They tend to spend more time away from parents, they feel exploring the world without their parents gives them a raw feeling about how their parents see the world but they often don’t know what actually their parents world is.

They often seek for happiness outside their home rather then spending time with family and getting to know their parents.

These days parents do try all the methods available on internet to handle teens but there are so many tricks and hacks available, but what to do and what not to do is the real confusion in the parents.

There is too much to handle as a teen parent and actually the amount of actual confusion going on as a parent in your brain is equal to the same amount of confusion in your kids mind.

Do you think kids start changing their behaviour suddenly, the answer is NO.

If you think kids start changing their behaviour once they hit 13, No its not true, they change when they reach their first double digit birthday, yes it is when they hit their 10 birthday, their bodies start to crave for food and information for the dramatic changes their brain and heart is undergoing.

So a easiest way to understand this is, you don’t know that you are pregnant till you miss your period or take a pregnancy test but your body is into the pregnant state as soon as the sperm and egg unite but the process takes 15 days to let you know that this biological process has happened.

In the same way kids around the age of 10 starts observing, absorbing their atmosphere and their minds are in a lot of hustle to why and how things happen and change. They start making the plans for future what they want to become or like whom they want to become.

There are some really cool things you can do at this stage:

  1. Divert them towards reading their age appropriate books(their crave for information will be satisfied)
  2. Make an Q & A conversation with them, over a weekend dinner or while playing games with them.
  3. If the child is interested push them to training towards any sport they like.
  4. Play one game with them every weekend
  5. Talk about people you idolise and may be discuss with them how sometimes influence can go wrong
  6. Reduce saying No to everything they ask and justify your NO’s if you do say No
  7. Even on the toughest day say good night to your child before bed and do let them know that you love them ‘in words’.
  8. Please make a point on checking what your child is watching on Television or any device he or she is on because all kids grow at a different pace and if your child has some bad influence at school or class, then they might watch the contents on their reference which they should not be watching.

This age of 10 to 14 is a age includes lot of thinking. They think deeply about everything they have heard or seen and they want to dig out more information on that. Internet is accessible to kids these days for studies and they might absorb wrong information also on the topics that they have newly discovered.

So its important to have light conversation so they might just to give you a hint of information they want to retrieve from your side.

As parents it is our responsibility to inculcate the components on how to become a good human being in a society, but always remember that each of us as adults are good and we ourselves are trying to be good each day. So don’t expect your child to be good everyday, we all are learning RIGHT!

But there are few ways we can try to build a strong characteristic in a child and teenage years are hard because the kid has a choice every where he/she goes,

  1. The child has a choice between choosing his peers(some of them may be friends for life)
  2. The child has a choice when someone offers them any new substance to consume( smoking, drugs, alcohol)
  3. The child has choice of expression( should he hide his weaknesses in front of his peers/parents)
  4. The child has choice of opinions ( should he or she not stand for wrong things their friends do)
  5. The child has a choice of personality ( introvert or extrovert)
  6. The child has a choice of being at academics and the list goes on

Speaking your mind as a parent is very important, because when you discuss your feelings with them from a very a young age with your child, the child will also speak up his mind.Then making the above choices would be a little bit easy for your child if you have discussed these topic about choices.

You cannot build a personality in one day, its tiny small changes you make each day with your child is what makes our personality.

This blog is for the pre teenage years(10 to 14)

The next blog will be about the What are changes that happen in teenage years? How to handle those red flags your child might be showing? HIDING< LYING>FAKING(common teenage things) .

See you all in my next post. Healthy parenting until next time.

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The Best ways to utilise Your Self Esteem

Will you be satisfied with one person praising or you have some imaginary number of how many people should praise you.?

Will others praising you boost your worthiness and respect.

Imagine all the flop films, lost matches, lost crops, all the floods, earth quakes, bomb blasts etc. 

Did all the affected people from above stopped living their lives and didn’t achieve anything. 

You know its hard that nowadays we find it so hard to just say it to ourselves that we can do it. We don’t accept That,We just need little more time than others. 

The world is moving at lightning speed and we just want to follow it like a rat race.

Indeed difficult and no wonder most us have very low self esteem and self respect.

The problem with us is that we don’t acknowledge ouselves enough. We don’t say it to ourselves, “I  am proud of that” or “ I am proud that I tried”. 

There will be many who didn’t even try. But we want someone to acknowledge us and we want to listen those proud words from someone else’s mouth.

We have made this society.

We are never introspective and are always looking out in world for the answers of the questions we don’t know.

No one in this world, if you see deeply is without a failure and failure or disappointments are part of life.But it shouldn’t affect our personality. It should not make you think that you are worthless or useless.

You must always think of options to achieve success.

Diverting your energy towards positive direction will only make you think of options to achieve or move towards direction of your goal.

It’s hard to be positive all the time, but take your time to recover from the losses and come back stronger and bolder than before.

Don’t let your failures to consume you and make you hollow but build a tougher shield from your losses thus making an example to others. 

Achieving success after series of failures has its sweetest essence because then people discuss about your failures proudly as an example.

Its hard not to compare our lives with others when you feel low that you don’t know what you are lagging in.

The best way to boost your self esteem is by holding on to your strong points and bye never giving up on what you believe that you can do it.

Because we are all different people, we all have different circumstances, sometimes situations pulls you back and drags you back to the starting point.

But by not giving it up to the situation and taking that first step again to start back from the beginning is going to make you stronger.

Hold on to that positive character of your personality!

Hold on to your self respect, chin up!

Hold on to never giving up on your goal!

Hold on to those positive  Dreams of success!

Hold on Buddy, we are all in the same ocean just in a different boat!

Stay connected @instagram @therealinfluencer2020

Wishing you all happiness and success. Keep looking up this space for more motivational posts.

Write you soon!

World: Before Dying,Make you social media profile public

We talk and stalk so much after someone is dead an unnatural way. But when the person is alive no body cares even if the person jokingly says he/she wants to die. Its hard to recognise the trigger points of sucide or what a person constantly struggles 24/7 in his/her mind. The one thing that we can do is openly talk about and not just make a carefree attitude when there is a failure or disturbances in the life of our closed one.

Most important thing nowadays is not discussing the failures, they just boost about their success but they hardly share that how many times did they had a point, where they felt this is not going to work and I am Never gonna be successful. These points do occur in day to day life also.

We feel hopeless, worthless and there are days where we hardly find any motivation to keep doing what you are doing or even to work.

Just analyse, how often do we talk or share our failures with our parents, kids or friends. Its hard to share sometimes because you feel the world is progressing at super speed and your grip on anything you are working is going out of hand and you feel ashamed of yourself to share that you didn’t keep up with the pace at world’s speed.

The most funniest thing about this stupid world, when a person is dead they will instantly search his social media profiles on all available platform and try to find the answers after his/her death that why did he/she died? Was his/her life so miserable that sucide was the only option?

It’s so hard to live life that some of us decide to end it unnatural way. Its their choice to escape the speed of the world. Its their choice to kill the haunting gulp in their throat to speak about their failures of the most important things in their life.

It’s Sarcastic that people want to scroll or talk about positivity when you are not alive in this world.

So keep your social media profile public before dying because people are gonna talk and discuss about you more when you are not around.

Now here comes the most important thing about death, there is no one in this world who will mourn about you for days, except your parents if you choose to leave them behind. Because they will be alive to listen to all that everyone is talking about you.

As parents, every parent has a choice to keep the pregnancy or not, except for some countries, still if your parents chose to have you in this world and raise you as a other human beings than you owe them your life, at least to make yourself survive through the rough path till they are alive on this earth. Not living on their terms but just keep breathing for their sake.

You don’t know their struggle and if you know then even they might have struggled through the rough patch in their life but they survived and raised you as any other human being on this world so you are their achievement, and you don’t have the right to kill yourself because then you are crushing their dreams.

Sometimes its hard to find motivation though I hope this gives you a positive vibe to go through the rough days.

No one cares about your failures and success or if you are alive or dead. So don’t waste the time thinking about the bad days or projects that failed you but think of amazing time you have to create your experiments.

Life changes very quickly, in a very POSITIVE way, if YOU let it.

Lindsey Vonn

Stay positive and motivated.

Stay in touch @Instagram: @therealinfluencer2020

If you want to tell your story or you just need someone to hear you out do drop a message @therealinfluencer2256

Write you soon!

Writing As A Career

A writer, An Author, A Script Writer, A Content Writer, An Editor/Editing Expert, Publishers are some of the many roles you can play when you choose Writing as a career.

Now you might have the initial spark of writing but you are under confident on what and how to become a writer. It is indeed a very tricky field. Just imagine your favourite book and think of the plot, the details, and the climax, it is extraordinary right!

Writing thus involve creativity, imagination and connecting the emotions through words. Writing novels is not an easy task. The initial chapters might come out easily if you are writing a personal story but when you read it as a reader’s point of view it needs to be engaging, relatable and authentic.

Not all the Novels are real stories, we have some great fictional writers and their observational skills are too par perfect. It needs a grasping plot and the real characters who are just like you and me then only the story becomes interesting and engaging.

But what about your writing skills and dreams of becoming the above roles as a writer and as of now your scripts must be in your laptop or device waiting for someone to approve,” that it’s a good story”.But you don’t know where to start. Or you might just have a feeling of trying to become an writer but don’t know where to start.

As writing is very under rated, courses might be available very close to you but you didn’t know because people talk very less about how to become a writer or hardly anyone encourages if you tell them that you want become a writer.

The most important to thing about it, is don’t think that you want to become like any of the author you love but just keep the inspiration in mind that you have to achieve something in writing.

As we are in digital world and socialising platform are unlimited so options are plenty to explore your writing skills. But becoming an author is not the only option in writing course, there are plenty more roles which can be achieved through the various courses which can make you earn equally as any other course.

The basic course that is available is for under Grad is Bachelors in Arts, English Literature, or any specific language in which you can express yourself fully(Hindi, Marathi, Kannada, Telgu, French,Russian ), Bachelors in Mass Media, Bachelors in Mass Communication. These are also available in Post Grad courses.

But there are special certificate courses and internships which offer in-depth training and enhancement of skills.

Becoming an author or writer requires lots of patience and imagination. There are many authors who haven’t travelled places but have searched on internet and described it as a personal experience so its a skill based programme which requires lot of training and experience.

You might not get the level of appreciations in the first write ups as you expected but if you have the skills then definitely success will come your way.

Writing as a career is the most difficult choice to make, because its time consuming and involves a high level thought process because the audience is vast and each has a different thought process also there are more rejections if there are similarities in story. But there is plenty of options before becoming an author and experience does make a huge difference in writers/authors.

If your dream is to becoming an author, then start with writing small such as blogging which itself has a vast variety because this will give a chance with less risk and the idea of what you should learn about or what skills do you lack.

But what if you are already a undergraduate or a post graduate in some other stream and now you want to explore the field of writing or become an author then also there are plenty of options to explore. Don’t quit your job and make writing as your full time career instead continue to work and try some of these workshop.

Check out the following Workshops :

  • Bangalore Writers Workshop (BWW)
  • Bound Writer’s Retreat Goa/Mumbai
  • British Council (New Delhi/ Kolkata)
  • Dear Park Institute Janet Thomas (Himachal Pradesh)

Writing is intuitive, its an Art to express and it is not an ordinary skill. The power of imagination and to put into words can make or break other person thought process.

Writing is like a wet mud, the reader gives the shape but the process is the author’s that in which direction the reader should spin the wheel to give a perfect shape to the wet mud.

Becoming a writer is a great choice of career, it still hasn’t gain the respect like other most chosen career paths but recently there is huge spurge of interest is attained by so many people to become a writer because it has versatile career options to become a lot of other roles.

Next time when you watch a movie or shows do look out for credentials for script writer/ ad writer/ script editor and many more in many fields.

Writing as a career is not confined to an author, it has many more moderate paying job roles.

Do comment on what other job roles do you know when we choose writing as a career.

Do like and share this post if like this series!

Find me on Instagram: @therealinfluencer2020

Write you soon!

Internships: Should we or should we not?

I have seen a doctor turning into writer, and chemical engineer turning into a painter and a Charted Accounted becoming the owner of a candle making company.

A Decade ago if you ask a teenager what do you want to become, then the kid will straight away look at his/her parents face or repeat the same answer as parents used to say Medical or Engineer and getting into the science stream was assumed like climbing Himalaya. If his or her child won’t get into Science stream for high school then the child was assumed to be not so Intelligent. It was much later that commerce came into Lime light when Charted Accountants and Company Secretaries became a trend.

So in this trending world some important courses and interests of the child are lost. Well now let me tell you, ‘Art is the new trend’ and most the parents are pushing their children toward drawing, craft, music and what not, but again its a wrong way to see the world, as you are stressing your child with education and extra activities with less time for self realisation.

So here comes the new trend and I am really pro towards this, It’s Internships. You will find a lot of Internship ads on social media and they are there for almost all streams according to you and your child’s interest.

I don’t know if you guys have heard about it but nowadays eight year old kids are learning coding, just like that internships are project based work where your child learns how to work and they will be working with the real actual companies, it makes sense about what the real work is in outside world and the teenager understands the work pressure.

Why to choose internships?

Your kid may be interested in some stream of his own interest but as a parent and even the kid as a teenager may not be sure whether to choose that stream or not and that’s where the internships play a huge role. After doing the internship you and your child both will feel confident about what and how to do?

What does Internships give?

Internships are mostly online these days and there is a lot to explore. But there are many practical based internships are also available. There are lot of NGOs offering internships and its a great way spend holidays for teenager and explore career options. After doing internships you might also get an idea of what college to choose and according to the stream you choose which is the best place to do your desired course. It will also give teenager seriousness about the stream he/she chooses as a career and the kid’s grades might improve with the level of interest created during the internship period.

How to choose the Internships?

Internships are Both paid and unpaid. You have a choice to make. They have certain specifications but if the teenager is just entering high school, paid internships would be difficult to get. But They do provide certificate of experience which gives an excellent look while creating the Curriculum Vitae (CV). Internships starts with a duration of 3 weeks to 12 weeks and once you have completed the duration fully, the certification is provided.

Benefits of Internships

Almost all the internships provide certificate at the end of the period. This will add as a work experience on your Curriculum Vitae. If you have done many internships by the time you finish your college and start searching for a real job then your CV would definitely look quite impressive with being a versatile learner.The most important benefit would be that you will have a clear idea of which companies to apply and what kind of work to expect from the new place.

As you never know what your passion is, so don’t waste your time and energy on the work that doesn’t interest you, instead take a firm decision from the beginning of your career choices.

THE NEXT SERIES OF POSTS WILL BE ON THE VARIOUS CAREER CHOICES ABOUT HOW AND WHAT TO DO TO BECOME A……? SO KEEP LOOKING FORWARD FOR THAT POST

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The Feeling of Dying

The Feeling Of DYING,

Everyone, and believe me everyone has this feeling once in their lifetime or once a year, once a month and for some its everyday.

Yes some do feel like dying everyday, We often judge suciders as weak but have you ever thought of yourself, even you must have felt like dying but you diverted or gave a thought process towards living with it.

But sometime people to do come to point of closure where they find nothing interesting, they find themselves in the place that their pain is the deepest in the world so they find dying as the closure to their suffering.

But is it true that once you die? all your physical sufferings are going to end but you create a feeling of dying in an another person. That person is the one who always wanted to see you alive and you were the purpose of their life. But you ended your life and now they are waiting for that one day when they feel the same strong essence of dying.

This feeling of dying often comes at a very early age. But we just keep pushing it, sometimes when we just feel the world crashing over us then we find a good friend or our loved ones just cheer us up on that saddest day. But not everyone gets that kind of people around them.

A 15 year old girl gulped the whole packet of paracetamol tablets, she just puked it all out in 8 hours but that was a close call to end her life.

Imagine 15 year olds finding it hard to let go and start a fresh. I remember reading in the newspaper, a article stating that a girl committed sucide because her parents put up the restriction on hours she was spending on her newly bought phone and her grades were dropping. So she gulped the rat poison and she died, she was 17.

Just like we should not compare our life with others, please don’t judge others reason for dying as silly or make a joke out of it. Take it seriously when someone tells you they feel like killing themselves talk it out, because this feeling is a creeper and it just spreads and grows.

After doing a lot of brainstorming and research, when I thought deep about this feeling, so the first question that arrives, when and why does this feeling comes?

In this era, Life is pretty difficult for not to compare, social media is booming, everybody is posting something, achieving something, creativity has come to its newest level, but there are many who are not doing anything but seeing all this they do feel sad and unworthy thus find it very difficult to cope.

They slip into different kinds of disorder and some very difficult to treat.

The other day I was just giving a instagram like to an old school friend photo and it was not a picture to be liked and I could see there was hardly anyone who bothered to like his post but I did click on that like because you never know what that person goes through when they don’t find themselves as competitive as others.

When you give a deep thought about this feeling, it comes through our childhood, it really matters what kind of childhood we had and how often we got that feeling of dying, why we got it?

Because we do talk about everything when we are sitting with our parents or friends but we never talk about our feelings to die, we think no one will understand. You think they will pity you.

Now lets talk about recovery of this feeling,

The most important thing about this feeling either you are too busy or you are too free to think about dying.

When you are too busy you find it hard to find time for yourself or some long waited desires you wanted to fullfill for yourself.

When you are too free, you find yourself bored, noncompete, negative part of the world comes in front of you.

In both the cases when you get this feeling keep a diary for yourself,

  1. Write the date and start writing your feelings for that day or week or month just pour it out
  2. Do this for a month if daily you have the same feeling about dying and there is no change then please find a counsellor. You can find online counsellor too just to hear you out. They will suggest if you need therapy or medications
  3. If the feeling is occasional like not more than twice then you are fine its common to feel like that but do give it a thought what made you come out of that feeling of dying, and keep doing it for yourself.

Its very important that at very young age you talk it out this feeling because once you suppress it, it just keeps coming back in some other way and as you age talking to someone becomes very difficult.

How to make your kids talk about this or how to successfully make them get rid of this feeling is by inculcating the habit of reading.

You must give some age appropriate books so that its easy for them to express their feelings and overcome the difficult situation in their life.

You cannot always be with your child but you can put the good thoughts in their minds that will always be with them.

So next time you want gift your child please keep in mind the thoughts your putting into their young minds.

I have made a compilation of the books that’s must read according to their age group, If you have some more suggestion about this do write to me and follow me on instagram @therealinfluencer2020

Checkout the list below

4 to 8 years 

What Were You Thinking?: A Story About Learning to Control Your Impulses https://amzn.to/3aSTcyq

You, Me and Empathy: Teaching Children about Empathy, Feelings, Kindness, Compassion, Tolerance and Recognising Bullying Behaviours https://amzn.to/2YlZfGD

The Wonderful Things You Will Be Hardcover by https://amzn.to/3j4OaSc

Wherever You Are: My Love Will Find You Board book https://amzn.to/2YsYStL

Age group: 7 to 14 years

The Kids’ Guide to Staying Awesome and In Control: Simple Stuff to Help Children Regulate Their Emotions and Senses https://amzn.to/2FT2S0t

Science Tale For Kids- Jo the Waste Manager by Young Angels https://amzn.to/32fgIBO

World’s Greatest Artists: Biographies of Inspirational Personalities For Kids https://amzn.to/3gn8exx

The Dot that went for a walk… (51 Short Stories) {specially for girls} https://amzn.to/3aMyrV1

Above 13 years of age

Tackling teen trouble: Kriti Kanuga https://amzn.to/3jjcHDl

The Visage: Unmasked Paperback  https://amzn.to/2Yskd6H

Life is what you make it by Preeti Shenoy https://amzn.to/2Yt7rEX

The worry workbook for teens: Jamie A.Micco Phd https://amzn.to/3l4hMkm

The Odd 1s Out: How to Be Cool and Other Things I Definitely Learned from Growing Up by James Rallison. https://amzn.to/3gm0rjw

Be Your Own Sunshine: James Allen https://amzn.to/31mhXQo

Perception is an insight.You cannot put bad thoughts into people’s mind but you can influence their perception with good thoughts.

Have a great day!

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